Flow over force

We all lose our rhythm sometimes. I certainly do, Building a business does not come with continuity or predictability. In fact, there is not one area of my life that is predictable. Deadlines, family stress, and life intervene, and even though I'm a PT and have my health in good shape, I'm still human battling age and my hormones just like you. Tears of frustration can well up frequently, and working out can be the last thing I feel like doing. I can start ruminating, feeling like I need to be doing more and being more, but I end up spinning my wheels and getting nowhere.

When days like this come up, my old default mode would have been to give myself a hard time about it. But as I get older, two things are happening: I'm becoming a little more gentle with myself, and I'm also becoming more in tune with myself through meditation and a deeper connection to my spiritual self. Both of which are teaching me to be more present.

When I start to feel my anxiety rising, I know I am looking too far into the future, and the fact of the matter is, we have no idea what the future holds. Grounding myself, rather than losing myself to a narrative not based in fact, has been enormously powerful and comforting to me.

My days are no longer about doing more, but rather about kindly resetting. (Side note, it's a work in progress!)

Peace in flow

Ground in presence - the only reality we ever have.

The only moment you truly inhabit is now. Deepak Chopra, one of the world's leading meditation teachers, often speaks of detaching from the stories of the past and future to see yourself clearly in the present, not through the lens of judgment or fear. I started learning to meditate and listening to Deepak Chopra in the depths of my divorce when my central nervous system was shot. It is a practice I do daily now, six years later, and it has been transformative in how I manage my stress. Presence isn’t escape; it’s the doorway back to clarity and peace.

Let go of what you can't control, and embrace what you can control.

Resisting what is only strengthens suffering. Eventually, you face the truth: much of life is outside your control, as Robin Sharma, the author of The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, teaches. Mastery isn’t in commanding externals; it’s in commanding your inner world. Easier said than done, but when things feel volatile, remind yourself: you can’t force outcomes, but you can choose your response.

Pull the levers you can control. A good example of this is if a situation triggers you, there is deep pain there for you. Most people automatically blame the problem or the person in front of them, but the bigger the trigger (pain, anger, resentment, fill in as appropriate), the deeper the wound. Look to the wound to heal, that is within your control. The person or situation is out of your control.

Move forward, but without forcing.

Growth isn’t linear. Some days you’re unstoppable. Other days, you’re dragging your heels. That doesn’t mean you’re off track, it means you’re human. This has been a slow lesson for me, and Gabby Bernstein has been enormously helpful in helping me get to grips with it. Gabby is a spiritual teacher, but one grounded in practicality that really appeals to me. She teaches us to ask:

“Why is this happening for me, not to me?”

I love this question. Honestly, it has been a game-changer for me. I even asked it the other day when I ripped my tyre trying to get around a car that had been parked badly. Instead of kicking off in irritation, I took a deep breath and said, " Why is this happening for me"? I reflected that I was in a rush and in overdrive. Perhaps this minor inconvenience was forcing me to slow down. I could have ruined my evening getting upset, but I took the opportunity to recognise I should have waited. I learned from the experience rather than assigning blame. As it transpired, the man in the badly parked vehicle called me the next day, apologised and paid for my new tyre. I am not saying this is always easy, but the universe is always working for you. By asking why this is happening for me rather than to me, you open yourself up to life's detours as lessons, not viewing them as punishments.

So ground yourself. Let go of the illusion of control, and most importantly, trust that your life is unfolding exactly as it’s meant to, even when it doesn’t look how you imagined.