Choose your hard: Why weight loss and home workouts in midlife require real choices

We’re saturated with life lessons these days from social media, but every so often, something cuts through the noise. This one did for me a few years ago:

"Leaving is hard. Staying is hard. Choose your hard."

It was said in the context of divorce. But I think it echoes far beyond that. Into our health, our habits, and our hormones. Into midlife, where nothing is as straightforward as it once was, and shortcuts tend to come with heavier consequences, especially when it comes to weight loss, and doing the work that helps you feel like yourself again.

Choose your hard.

Doing the workout is hard. So is feeling sluggish and disconnected from your own body, or catching your reflection and not recognising the woman looking back at you.

Committing to home workouts is hard. But so is moving in a body that aches and that you don't recognise.

Saying no to another glass of wine is hard. So is waking up wired at 3 a.m., bloated and irritated with yourself for overdoing it again.

Setting boundaries is hard. So is running on empty, saying yes when you mean no, and quietly resenting everyone around you.

We chase ease because midlife is full of challenges. And are full!! Full of ageing parents, unpredictable hormones, work stress, death, illness, lost love, grief, kids who need us less and more all at once.

But there’s a difference between ease and avoidance. One keeps you afloat. The other slowly erodes your confidence, your energy, your sense of self.

The truth is, there is no easy path. There is only the one you consciously choose. And it’s worth asking: does the hard I’m choosing move me closer to the woman I want to be?

For me, that’s becoming the woman who trains.

Who chooses home workouts because they fit into her life, not perfectly, but consistently.

Who moves her body regularly, not for the scale, but for strength, stability and giving herself choice as she ages.

The woman who sets boundaries around food and alcohol when they’re not serving her, not from a place of restriction, but self-respect.

The woman who cancels the noise and takes herself for a walk, because she knows she’ll think better once she’s moved.

The woman who says no when something doesn’t fit her life, and doesn’t apologise for it.

This version of me doesn’t always show up perfectly, but she keeps trying. Because this hard, the internal work, the delayed gratification, the uncomfortable 'no' leads me somewhere good.

So next time you’re faced with the choice, another glass, another skipped session, another boundary bent out of guilt, pause and ask yourself: Which hard leads me somewhere better?

And then honour that answer. Even if no one else gets it, they don’t need to. You do.

You get to choose the hard that leads you towards the life you actually want to live.